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Overachievers and people pleasers

Reading time: 5 minutes

Dedicated to: people pleasers and overachievers.

I wanted to share something I've been learning and exploring: living with less.

I'm not necessarily talking material things (although I am about that minimalist life), but more about the things we fill our life with.

I've always been a YES woman.

Yes, I'll come to that after work 5.30pm event and work through my lunch break to get there. Yes, I'm free Wednesday for breakfast even though I'm meant to workout in the mornings. Yes, I'll cancel dinner with my partner and finish that project. Yes, of course I volunteer 10 hours a week at the local SPCA (which is rad if you do btw!). Yes, I can do lunch to give you 'life advice' even though I don't have an hour to myself this week.

Ya feelin' me? Burnt out. Strung out. Filled with a sense of obligation. Spread way too thin (like marmite).

So lately I have been powerfully questioning, 'Why are you saying yes to this?'

  • Is it because you feel like you 'should'?

  • Is it because you're worried you'll upset or offend them if you say no?

  • Is it because you'll get a bad case of FOMO?

None of the above are particularly inspiring reasons and here's what I am learning.....

Lesson Learning #1: You can't be all things to everyone. I know you care and you want to help, but it's impossible to please everyone. In order to make your ultimate contribution and impact, you need to focus on taking care of yourself first.

Lesson Learning #2: Most opportunities are distractions in disguise. We're so busy high-fiving everyone with our YESES and filling our schedules that we end up completely distracted from the things that matter most. Yes, I mean writing that application for that new job, mapping out that idea into a business plan, curating the your upcoming workshop, making a budget so you have freedom to start that business. You know the things that will shift the needle in your life?!

Some practical things to try:

  • When the email invite or Facebook Message comes in, twist your ring (that's if you wear one) three times before you automatically say "YES!"

  • Actually say NO to something without feeling like the worst human being alive. "No" is a complete sentence.

  • Schedule weekly 'creating' and 'thinking' time in your calendar (without any social media or distractions).

You can do anything but you can't do everything. Focus on what matters most and leave the rest. Fill your life with the things you LOVE, the things that light you up, that nourish your soul and that create momentum towards your ultimate vision.

Resonating and want some extra night time reading? Essentialism by Greg McKeown

This weekend, I'll be replacing the social media scrolling for playful creation and the expensive brunches for hiking.

Big love,

Briony

Briony McKenzie